Trying to hang in there

I'm not falling behind after all! I'm just no longer ahead. Fortunately, I read 12 books in January when I only needed to read eight. Whew! Still in the game. Why oh why do I make myself read such difficult books, though? At the moment I'm 40 pages into Black Sun by Julia Kristeva. Pretty far from a light read, but every word is so satiating to me, I just can't stop reading. What can I say? She's my guilty pleasure. Reading Kristeva seems appropriate tonight since I talked to a grad school friend for an hour and a half this afternoon. Kristeva was the bane of our existence the first semester of our grad program, but I secretly loved reading her Strangers to Ourselves. I may have even written a thesis on her works if I I hadn't worried about potential "adult bullying" at the hands of my classmates. Who knew reading about depression could make a person so sublimely happy? Also of note, I've loved revisiting the Emily of New Moon series. It's fun to read them now and gauge how much I've changed and grown since first reading them in third grade. When I first read them I assumed that, like Emily, I was destined to be a writer. Now I'm not so sure, and it's kind of disappointing to read these childhood favorites at 27 and see how little I've accomplished. Also--it's jarring to see how much my reaction to her decision about moving to New York has changed. When I first read the books, I'd never moved in my life and I was so glad Em chose to stay put on P.E. Island instead of move to NYC to work at a magazine (as a 17-year-old, no less). Now, 10 years Emily's senior, I find myself longing to (and seriously planning to) move to NYC, and I'd give anything to work at a magazine. At least I'm not too set in my ways . . .

Falling behind

Changed my goal. Joined Twitter. Fell a week behind. Forgot how to write.

(400 characters only)

What's a book?

Still going strong . . . but introducing a new goal!

I've been thinking about the feasibility of finishing this project in 2012. While on the one hand I've had no trouble keeping up so far (I'm ahead by two books at this point), on the other hand, some major changes are on the horizon for me. I'm moving out of my apartment at the end of April, spending two weeks in May out of the country, and spending the summer at an intensive language learning program. Then in August or September, I'm moving to a new city. Whew!

As much as I want to complete my 104-book goal, this just doesn't seem like the year. For seven weeks this summer, I won't be allowed to speak, read or write in English--not that I'll have to time to read two books during that time, anyway. And when I've just moved to this (big, stressful, intimidating, exciting, distracting) new city, I won't want to waste my time reading. I'll have more important ways to spend my time, such as, umm, looking for a job and finding and apartment and tutoring to pay the bills and, you know, exploring my new city. I'll probably regret it some day if I spend my first few months in this city tucked away by myself reading novels.

So. I give you: le nouveau reading challenge. Still most definitely a challenge; just a bit less challenging.

~ Through the end of June, I will continue to read two books a week, resulting in a total of 52 books completed by June 30.

~ For the seven weeks I'm immersed in a foreign language, I will read no books in English or French, meaning my literary ambitions will be limited to about a first grade reading level in Spanish. Bueno. Not planning to finish any books during this time.

~ For the remainder of the year, I will read one book per week, resulting in an additional 19 books.

The grand total for 2012: 71 books

Compared to last year's goal of 48 books, 71 is still an impressive amount. Plus, I'm still going to prove to myself that I can read two books a week for a significant amount of time, and I will reap the benefits thereof. Sadly, this just isn't the year for 12 months of such intense reading. Six months will have to do.

In which I explain the last post

So, I've obviously been slacking in a major way with this blog. Today I realized it had been nearly a month since I'd last posted and resolved to post again before midnight. Just before the clock struck, I managed to type a couple of words. I guess that's one resolution I've kept this year!

In other news, I've managed to keep up with my reading goals pretty well so far. My life has been kind of tragic lately (slight exaggeration), and for a couple of weeks blogging wasn't at the top of my to do list. Fortunately, I did keep up with reading--until this past week, when I discovered the joys of watching television. I don't have cable in my house, but these days I guess that can't stop you from watching plenty of TV. My new fave? Dance Moms. On my laptop. At 2 a.m.

Anyway, despite my blogging slacker-ness, I've kept up OK with my reading. Tonight I plan to finish yet another book, The Hours.

More to come--my book calls.

It hasn't been a whole month

since i posted

She knows what's up

"In one sense, reading is a great waste of time. In another sense, it is a great extension of time, a way for one person to live a thousand and one lives in a single lifespan, to watch the great impersonal universe at work again and again, to watch the great personal psyche spar with it, to suffer affliction and weakness and injury, to die and watch those you love die, until the very dizziness of it all becomes a source of compassion for ourselves, and our language, which we alone created, and without which the letter that slipped under the door could never have been written, or, once in a thousand lives—is that too much to ask?—retrieved, and read. Did I mention supreme joy? That is why I read: I want everything to be okay. That’s why I read when I was a lonely kid and that’s why I read now that I’m a scared adult."

— Mary Ruefle

I've discovered audiobooks! And libraries!

I've been curious about audiobooks ever since I read Stephen King's On Writing five years ago (gasp! senior year of college was five years ago!). But the steep price prevented me from buying something I might never listen to again. A couple of days ago, a friend mentioned she checks audiobooks out of the library. In that instant, two brilliant ideas converged, resulting in a trip to my local library to sign up for a card. I am now the proud owner of a library card and the proud borrower of my first audiobook. I randomly checked out On Chesil Beach just because I've been wanting to read Ian Mcewan. I had no idea what the book was about, but so far it's been one long, awkward sex scene. I laughed all the way to work the first day I listened to it, but I'm glad I didn't have any passengers. It could have made for an uncomfortable time.

At an rate, yay for audiobooks! And yay for libraries! I'm hoping these two discoveries will help me stay on track with my reading goals even if I start working full time. So far I've been able to balance serious reading with a pretty active social life, but if I'm working 50 hours a week, audiobooks will be a godsend.

Satan's Sisters, by Star Jones

Satan's Sisters is exhibit A in a category I'll call "books I received as gifts and didn't get around to reading last year." My roommate heard Jones speak last summer and was kind enough to give me a signed copy of her novel Satan's Sisters. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I'm not gonna lie: I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It's trashy, scandalous and mindless, but sometimes that's just the kind of book I want to read.

Up next, I'm working on several projects, including:

Exhibits B and C of "books I received as gifts and didn't get around to reading": Freakonomics and A Darcy Christmas

The Kristeva project: Crime and Punishment will be followed by Freud's The Interpretation of Dreams and Julia Kristeva's Black Sun, which draws on ideas of Dostoevsky and Freud

Wives of Midnight in Paris project: The Paris Wife, Paula Mclain's novel about Hemingway's first wife Hadley and Alabama Song, a French novel about the early days of Zelda and Scott Fitzgerald's romance

Didn't feel like a punishment, after all

I'll admit that I only read Crime and Punishment because it's one of those books you're "supposed" to read. I hadn't read any major Russian novels, and I knew Dostoevsky was a master at creating psychologically interesting characters. Honestly, though, I thought the book would bore me to death. I couldn't have been more wrong. Crime and Punishment proved to be a page-turner, a thriller that often kept me up reading until 4 a.m.

Dostoevsky really puts the reader inside the head of Raskolnikov, the main character and (no spoiler here!) the murderer. My heart was beating so quickly after he commited the murder, I felt as though I were fleeing a murder scene myself. Raskolnikov is a complex, three-dimensional character whose overzealous sense of altruism, but also of pride and superiority, ultimately leads him to kill. I found this book more interesting than typical murder-mysteries because it focuses on determining the motive for the crime, not on tracking down the criminal. This approach allows the reader to travel deeper into the killer's psyche. The sole focus is on understanding his motives, with no energy wasted on considering the guilt of other suspects.

I highly recommend this book as a first "big Russian novel." It's intellectually challenging, but suspenseful enough to keep the reader hooked. C and P was my first Dostoevsky, but it won't be my last.

First book of the year: The Mindful Path to Self-compassion by Christopher K. Germer

I (finally!) finished book one for 2012. I've been reading several books at once, which puts me a little behind but I should catch up quickly. I enjoyed the book and found the advice about meditation helpful, but my main reaction was a bad case of insomnia. I got too caught up in "perfecting" the meditation and stayed up until 5 a.m. thinking about it. I do think Germer's ideas are helpful and I plan to practice more "self-compassion" next time I try to meditate. This was just a quick read in-between Dostoevsky and a French novel I'm working on.

Happy New Year!

2012 is finally here and I'm ringing it in with . . . wait for it . . . the Sunday New York Times. After a fun NYE party last night and a family celebration today, I'm just not in the mood for Dostoevsky. At least I'm reading the paper edition.