She knows what's up

"In one sense, reading is a great waste of time. In another sense, it is a great extension of time, a way for one person to live a thousand and one lives in a single lifespan, to watch the great impersonal universe at work again and again, to watch the great personal psyche spar with it, to suffer affliction and weakness and injury, to die and watch those you love die, until the very dizziness of it all becomes a source of compassion for ourselves, and our language, which we alone created, and without which the letter that slipped under the door could never have been written, or, once in a thousand lives—is that too much to ask?—retrieved, and read. Did I mention supreme joy? That is why I read: I want everything to be okay. That’s why I read when I was a lonely kid and that’s why I read now that I’m a scared adult."

— Mary Ruefle

I've discovered audiobooks! And libraries!

I've been curious about audiobooks ever since I read Stephen King's On Writing five years ago (gasp! senior year of college was five years ago!). But the steep price prevented me from buying something I might never listen to again. A couple of days ago, a friend mentioned she checks audiobooks out of the library. In that instant, two brilliant ideas converged, resulting in a trip to my local library to sign up for a card. I am now the proud owner of a library card and the proud borrower of my first audiobook. I randomly checked out On Chesil Beach just because I've been wanting to read Ian Mcewan. I had no idea what the book was about, but so far it's been one long, awkward sex scene. I laughed all the way to work the first day I listened to it, but I'm glad I didn't have any passengers. It could have made for an uncomfortable time.

At an rate, yay for audiobooks! And yay for libraries! I'm hoping these two discoveries will help me stay on track with my reading goals even if I start working full time. So far I've been able to balance serious reading with a pretty active social life, but if I'm working 50 hours a week, audiobooks will be a godsend.

Satan's Sisters, by Star Jones

Satan's Sisters is exhibit A in a category I'll call "books I received as gifts and didn't get around to reading last year." My roommate heard Jones speak last summer and was kind enough to give me a signed copy of her novel Satan's Sisters. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I'm not gonna lie: I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It's trashy, scandalous and mindless, but sometimes that's just the kind of book I want to read.

Up next, I'm working on several projects, including:

Exhibits B and C of "books I received as gifts and didn't get around to reading": Freakonomics and A Darcy Christmas

The Kristeva project: Crime and Punishment will be followed by Freud's The Interpretation of Dreams and Julia Kristeva's Black Sun, which draws on ideas of Dostoevsky and Freud

Wives of Midnight in Paris project: The Paris Wife, Paula Mclain's novel about Hemingway's first wife Hadley and Alabama Song, a French novel about the early days of Zelda and Scott Fitzgerald's romance

Didn't feel like a punishment, after all

I'll admit that I only read Crime and Punishment because it's one of those books you're "supposed" to read. I hadn't read any major Russian novels, and I knew Dostoevsky was a master at creating psychologically interesting characters. Honestly, though, I thought the book would bore me to death. I couldn't have been more wrong. Crime and Punishment proved to be a page-turner, a thriller that often kept me up reading until 4 a.m.

Dostoevsky really puts the reader inside the head of Raskolnikov, the main character and (no spoiler here!) the murderer. My heart was beating so quickly after he commited the murder, I felt as though I were fleeing a murder scene myself. Raskolnikov is a complex, three-dimensional character whose overzealous sense of altruism, but also of pride and superiority, ultimately leads him to kill. I found this book more interesting than typical murder-mysteries because it focuses on determining the motive for the crime, not on tracking down the criminal. This approach allows the reader to travel deeper into the killer's psyche. The sole focus is on understanding his motives, with no energy wasted on considering the guilt of other suspects.

I highly recommend this book as a first "big Russian novel." It's intellectually challenging, but suspenseful enough to keep the reader hooked. C and P was my first Dostoevsky, but it won't be my last.

First book of the year: The Mindful Path to Self-compassion by Christopher K. Germer

I (finally!) finished book one for 2012. I've been reading several books at once, which puts me a little behind but I should catch up quickly. I enjoyed the book and found the advice about meditation helpful, but my main reaction was a bad case of insomnia. I got too caught up in "perfecting" the meditation and stayed up until 5 a.m. thinking about it. I do think Germer's ideas are helpful and I plan to practice more "self-compassion" next time I try to meditate. This was just a quick read in-between Dostoevsky and a French novel I'm working on.

Happy New Year!

2012 is finally here and I'm ringing it in with . . . wait for it . . . the Sunday New York Times. After a fun NYE party last night and a family celebration today, I'm just not in the mood for Dostoevsky. At least I'm reading the paper edition.